Vajra pushed down the lid of his laptop, gulped down a bottle of water, and hastened to his bed with his cellphone. It was 11.30 p.m. and he had to finish sending a few replies on his phone before calling it a day. There were 120 messages flooding his inbox from friends and groups. The most noisy of all the groups he was part of spoke of Dr. Bhim Rao Ambedkar incessantly.

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In India, if you are to die, if at all you are to die in India, and if you want the country and the media to take note of your death, you must tick the following boxes –

  1. You are a Muslim or speak/write about Muslims. (You might have in reality done nothing for them, and just be earning your bread & butter exploiting their predicament.)
  2. You are a Dalit or speak/write about Dalits. (‘Dalit’ is your favorite catchphrase, and you might be blind to all the so called Capitalists who are doing more for them and their livelihood than you but you believe that every slogan you raise for them amounts to one tukda/piece of bread in their mouth.)
  3. You are a member/sympathizer of whatever is left of the Left.
  4. You are a writer who swears by the Left and the Congress.
  5. You talk/try fragmentation of the country in the garb of high-pitched/lofty ideas of Internationalism and borderless world. (You only swear by the boundaries of castes and classes.)
  6. You are by reality or perception associated with the JNU. (This is a special case where your coughing inside the hostel room will be covered as well, so consider yourself extremely fortunate. Just know that you must cough Leninism/Marxism/Maoism. If you are from JNU and belong to one of the right-wing groups, your JNU tag is as useless as that egg that is found to be rotten after it is boiled.)